Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
