I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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