we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
