I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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