Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
