RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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