how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
