Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
