they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
