i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
