Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
