i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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