she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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