R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
