I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
