Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i dont even know how to be here
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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