Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
