Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
