You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
