no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
