The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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