I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
