I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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