2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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