One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
