i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
