They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
