1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
