K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize