is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
this boner is exhausting
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
