i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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