after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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