I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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