and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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