Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
