weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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