Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
