I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
