i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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