if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
