and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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