It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
