As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
