i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
