apparently the secret to your success is patron
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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