it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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