last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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