Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
