you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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