Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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