she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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